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If there’s anything that hurts more than getting dumped, it’s the feeling of total detachment or disinterest from your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. One minute you’re dating and seeing each other every day, and the next minute your ex seems cold, distant, and totally uninterested in hearing from you. So what gives?
What Goes On In Your Ex’s Mind After They Break Up With You
Before you can go about getting your ex back, you need to understand the basics of breakup mechanics. This means you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start looking at things from your ex’s perspective, with a level head and a clear mind. Right now, things aren’t exactly as they seem. Although your ex can seem wholly uninterested in contact right now, it certainly doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t still have feelings for you.
Breaking up is tough on the both of you. Your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend might seem carefree and callous right now, but this is usually a wall put forth to cover some very deep-seeded emotions. The bonds you formed while dating didn’t happen overnight… they took months or even years to develop. By the same token, your ex’s feelings for you aren’t going to disappear at the drop of a hat, despite what it may outwardly look like at the moment.
To sum it up? Your ex still has feelings for you after the breakup. But the easiest way to keep the breakup going is for them to bury or ignore these feelings, and to detach from you as quickly and completely as possible. This is why your ex won’t return your phone calls, answer your emails, or otherwise engage you in any form of contact right now. At the moment, they’re too busy trying to keep you at arm’s length so they can fully process the breakup.
Getting Your Ex To Want You Back – First Moves
An important thing most people don’t realize is that getting back together is a two-way street. It’s not enough to want your boyfriend or girlfriend back with every part of your heart and soul… you need to make your ex want YOU as well. Until that happens, reversing your breakup just won’t be possible. Focusing on what your ex wants is a lot more important than focusing only on what you’re trying to achieve.
To make your ex want you, the first thing you need to do is withdraw. The reason for this is simple: your ex needs to miss you before they can start wanting you back. Ever since the breakup, there’s already a void in your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend’s life where you used to be. There are things you used to do, places you used to go, and daily routines that no longer exist since he or she broke up with you.
Playing upon that, you can get your ex to miss you very quickly, even when they don’t seem interested. The only problem with this is you can screw it up very easily through unwanted contact. Calling, texting, emailing, or even showing up to see your ex boyfriend or girlfriend are all counterproductive to the process of getting them back. Your ex won’t ever start missing you if you’re still always around, which is why going away and becoming a complete mystery to them is so important right now.
Essentially, you want your ex to think that you’ve moved on without them, as if the breakup hasn’t affected you one bit. You want your ex worried about losing you, both as a friend or a potential fallback just in case they made a mistake by breaking things off. The less your ex knows about your post-breakup life, the more they’ll be interested in hearing from you again. And the longer you can go without making any form of contact, the more you’re piquing your ex boyfriend or girlfriend’s interest.
Other Ways To Get Your Ex To Call You
Making your ex come back to you is far, far better than running back to them. The less needy and desperate you seem, the greater your chances for successfully fixing your breakup. And best of all? When your ex comes looking for you, the new relationship you forge will be ten times stronger than if you were the one who chased after them. This is why it’s always better to get your ex to call you, contact you, or seek you out… rather than the other way around.
So what does it mean when your ex is ignoring you? Not as much as you think it does. There are some very fast methods and techniques for turning the tide of your breakup, and for getting your ex to chase YOU. Learning what these are can make the difference between losing your ex for good or getting back in their arms again.
write by Muriel